Touching Ground
by picpicpic
Summary: A series of one-shots, perhaps at times, somewhat chronical, filling in some holes, some plausible moments. Namely, an experiment. Characters belong to Tony Grounds and the BBC.
1. Chapter 1

1.

Finally. She has never in her life blessed the queen, the land, the pilots and whomever in between as much as she did when those wheels connected with the ground. She had finished her first tour in Afghan, after six months away, they were finally home. As her feet touch the asphalt of the landing ground, she feels like a painted picture of patriotism. She can hardly keep her emotions in check. That is until each remaining member of 2 section decides to friendly bump into her shoulder, tugging her along as they make their way inside _"come on then Dawesy, we've made it this far, no sense stopping now"_ they banter.

As she untangles herself from the surprise attack of her family members engulfing her in excited smiles and embraces, she notices that her happiness is somewhat dimmed by an uneasy pull of curiosity. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd hoped he'd be there to greet them. _'don't be daft_ ,' she thinks to herself _, 'you know that's impossible'._ But she can't help her eyes from quickly scanning the room for his tall figure.

Making their way out to the parking lot, she tries to calm her nut, to distinguish between the slight disappointment she feels, at him not being there, and the sheer happiness of being back home, in her mother's arms. It is only when she closes the boot of the car, now holding her kit, that she notices the slim figure watching her from behind a tree trunk at the far end of the parking lot.

She stops herself from running to him. Instead she looks around to see if anyone noticed her or him. _"I'll be right back_ " she shouts at her parents already seated in the car, waiting for her to climb in, as she makes her way through the rows of cars, to him. _"What are you doing 'ere?!"_ she says once he's in ear shot. _"Well, hello to you too, it's nice to see you out and about as well_ ". _"Sorry,_ " she says confused, bemused, utterly happy _"I'm just… I,… hi._ " She says at last, smiling, her mind working too quick for her mouth to form coherent sentences. _"Hi_ " he smirks back at her. And they fall silent for a moment. _"May I?_ " she asks, gesturing with her arms towards him. He looks hastily around the car park to see if anyone would see them, then he pulls her lightly to be hidden by the tree trunk, and wraps his arms around her pulling her into a hug, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. She responds immediately, her arms around his neck and shoulders, she holds on tightly, never wanting to let go. _"I've missed you_ " he says into her. " _That's the bloodiest understatement of the year!_ " she exclaimes laughingly, but tears are already running down her cheeks. _"Hey, hey, I'm right here. I'm alright. I'm right here_ " he says, squeezing her in reassurance, before pulling back to look at her. _"Sorry,_ " she says again, wiping her cheeks _"I'm being a numpty. what are you actually doing 'ere? Shouldn't you be in a 'ospital bed somewhere?_ "  
" _My recuperation is apparently going well; I've been permitted to leave the hospital for a few hours. I knew you're arriving today, I couldn't not come, I wanted to see you._ " He blushes at his sudden burst of words, then continues " _I thought maybe we could go grab something to drink, somewhere err, else, before I have to go back to the hospital and you have to go to the barracks. You do have some time don't you_?". Shit. Shit! " _Yeah, I 'ave time, we've been given a couple of hours. But my family's 'ere." She searches their car with her eyes, shifting her weight from one foot to the other "they've surprised me, they wanted to take me to have a cuppa as well, I didn't know they were coming, I didn't know…"_ her words trail off, disappointment and anxiety spreading across her face. She doesn't want him to think she doesn't care, that she doesn't want to go with him, she doesn't want to leave him, ever, but her family did come all the way. " _Okay. Okay. I get it. it's okay_ " He tries to cover his disappointment. He knows it isn't fair to put her in this situation _"we'll find some other time, Dawes. Now we have time_ ," " _No,_ " she cuts him midsentence, her hand grabbing at the lapel of his jacket, the thought of letting him go unbearable _"no, wait. Let me think. I don't want you to go, just let me think_ ".  
She keeps on holding on to him, as if she's afraid he'd run away, her eyes scanning the floor as her mind racks for a solution. It feels like a test, like her life depend on it. At last an idea formulates in her brain, catches her by surprise. Her eyes shoot up to his, a shy smile spreading on across her lips. " _I, uh, have a really bad idea_ " she says, her smile uncontrollably widening, " _you're not going to like it._ "  
 _"oh yeah?_ " he can't help but laugh lightly with her.  
 _"How about you come with us? To have a drink. We won't tell them anything, we'll say you're a mate from Afghan, we'll keep the details vague._ " She squints anxiously as she waits for his answer, yet unsure just how bad this idea really is.  
 _"What meet the family? So soon?"_ he tries to make light of the situation. " _I'm not sure that's a good idea Dawes._ " He adds quietly.  
 _"Please boss. Please don't go. I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go"  
_ _"Molly,"_ he whispers her name, taking her face in his hands and pressing his forehead to hers _"calm down. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere_." He pauses shortly and then adds _"Okay. I'll come with. But then we have to drive a bit further up the road. I don't want us to run into anyone else, this is going to be awkward enough._ "  
 _"Yes, yes of course boss_ " she breathes out with relief.  
 _"_ Go _tell your family to follow my taxi. And less of the boss for now Dawesy_ "  
" _Yes sir. Sorry sir_." They both break out laughing, " _Sorry_ " she grins, stepping back towards the car park to find her family.

As he walks to the taxi his phone beeps to signal he'd received a message. ' _I don't know your name, sir…_ ' he laughs turning his head to see her standing at the open door of the car, beaming at him. He beams back for a moment, directing his chin towards her and raising his shoulders mischievously, and gets into his taxi.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

 _Awkward_ does not begin to describe it. The word just doesn't hold enough letters to account just how uncomfortable each member around the table feels. Well, except Dave, obviously. As though he doesn't do uncomfortable, once he gets his beer, he has no problem prodding and poking the two soldiers sitting in front of him. All the pleading and threatening Molly had expressed during the car ride, explaining the situation, that they were meeting a friend that served with her and that had come home a few weeks earlier because of an injury, and ' _please don't badger him with questions and don't dare embarrass me'_ , now fly out the window as they sit under cross examination.

To her surprise, James (as he sleekly chose to introduce himself, whispering in her ear he preferred waiting for a more intimate opportunity, namely the two of them alone, to share his first name with her) deals with the situation full on with his Captain's-skills, seemingly unscathed from the personal interrogation. His answers are short and polite, revealing just as much needed to keep the conversation going. Only at one point does she feel him slightly tense up, as Dave asks about his future plans in the army.  
To a stranger it's wouldn't be noticeable at all, it is only because he sits so close to her, his left thigh glued to hers, their palms secretly intertwined under the table, that she can feel it more than see it. She's in awe at how calm and in control he seems, while she feels all over the shop.  
She can hardly concentrate on the conversation, as his thumb caresses her knuckles. A million questions running through her head, along with a few inappropriate yet warming thoughts (she is, after all, seated with her nan, her father and her mother in a public place) as he whispers in her ear, awakening expectations.  
It is as if his words awaken her bodily taste buds, after those had been shut down for a small eternity. After that day on the bridge, it wasn't the physical attraction that interested her. Sitting on the beach with Kinders, during their damned decompression, all she cared about was if he was alright, alive, healthy. And if he would ever forgive her. And now, not only is he here, alive alright, and on the way to recovery, he's here, with her, holding her hand and shyly seeking a future with her.  
She can feel her body reacting to him, totally uncontrolled by the mind. A shiver goes through her as the thought comes to her mind. He must have felt it, because he looks at her suddenly, his eyebrows raised, a question in his eyes. She smiles at him and squeezes his hand, hoping he will sense she means more than what she can currently articulate.  
This is hell. Being so close to one another and yet not able to really speak to one another like they want to, she thinks she might very soon go mad.

"Nan," she says suddenly, unaware she'd cut her father midsentence, _"shouldn't you guys be going soon? It's gonna get dark soon, and you have such a long drive_ " she looks at nan with an extreme interest, hoping the old woman would pick up on her need for time with him. If anyone would, it would be her nan. They'd always had this bond, and nan was not as daft as she sometimes let on. Now though, she won't roll over " _I think we have some time yet, we came all this way, and you still have an hour with us, don't you?_ " Molly nearly kicks her under the table. Her smile showing Molly she understands exactly what Molly's asking, and is purposefully making it difficult. " _Nan._ " She says sternly. It's then her phone beeps. _'Tell them it's from Kinders saying they pushed the meeting point up_ '. She hadn't even noticed Bossman had taken his phone out under the table. She can now see he's fighting to suppress a smile. " _It's from me sergeant. There's been a change, we 'ave to back in 30_." She looks defiantly at her grandmother " _you guys go. It makes no sense for you to drive the whole way back to Brize. I'll catch a taxi back with Bo…James_ " her tone is so unequivocal it even takes James by surprise.

It takes a few more minutes of persuasion and encouraging and then hugging and saying goodbye before she finds herself standing next to him, her kit at her feet, waving at the distancing car. _"Remind me never to piss you off when you want something_ " he says grinning, _"good thing I was your captain; I would never have been able to stand up to that"_. _"Now what_?" her voice trembling either from anxiety or excitement, perhaps both.  
 _"Well, we're already here. How about we go in for another drink? Enjoy the time we have just the two of us?_ " he says offering her a hand. She nods. She wants all the time in the world with him. She wants to be somewhere private with him. She wants to jump him there and then, feel his arms around her and his lips. It's then that her phone beeps again. shit. _"Shit! This can't be. Shit!_ "  
" _What is it Molly?_ " he asks with concern.  
" _This really is from Kinders. Speaking of the bloody devil. We really are meeting in 30. Fuck_ " she raises her eyes to him, to see him biting his lower lip with a smile. " _What are you smiling about?! this is total shit_."  
" _I know, I'm sorry. It's just, Murphy's law, you know_?"  
" _If I knew what one of them was, I'd let you know._ " She's so frustrated she thinks she might explode. " _It isn't fair Boss. I wanted some time. We need time_ ". He takes her in his arms " _Dawes, we'll have time. After this. You'll go home, I'll be released from the hospital, and then we'll have time. All the time in the world. I promise_ ".  
 _"Isn't love stronger than army regulations? We aren't in Afghan anymore._ " She gives it another go.  
 _"Nice try Dawes. Come on, let's get you in a taxi. You can whine on the way there_."


	3. Chapter 3

3.

My lovely Miss Molly,

If you've followed my orders (for once), you'll be reading this sitting in that aircraft, on your way back to Afghan. I still can't quite fathom I let you go. I don't mean that in a patronizing patriarchic way of authority, I just literally can't understand how I had the will power to let go of you for another three months. Is it too soon to request you come back to me Dawesy?

I really am so so proud of you. I know our way has not been easy, I know you've been dealing with bucket-loads of shit, I wish I could wipe it all away. I wish I could bring him back. I really do.  
It used to drive me crazy, watching the two of you in the FOB, sitting on top that shitter, sharing god knows what (you thought I didn't know, but I did. I made sure to know where you were 100% of the time. Even if I couldn't always join you.) We both know how shamefully I reacted to the thought you'd spent your R&R together. I'm still ashamed of it, and sorry. But I know now what he meant to you, how much he was there for you when I couldn't be. I love you even more for your ability to care for people the way you do. It's what makes you the nuts medic you are. But Molly, please remember, it also might come to be your Achilles heel, and put you in danger. Please take care of yourself. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you, let alone if I'm not there to protect you as much I can. I'll probably be pacing a lot these coming months, worried about you.

I'm sorry, I know you don't need the pressure, that this is not what I should be writing as you make your way to Afghan. But Molly, I need you to understand, to get it through that self-willed head of yours: I love you. I love and I need you here with me. It's not like before, as the tour began, now I know you, and I can't imagine my life without you. You called it previous at the restaurant, but it's not meant to be. It's just how I feel. I don't know how you left for your first tour, or what kept you going, but know now, you have someone waiting for you, wanting you to come back, to come home. Take that knowledge with you, let it calm you when needed, and encourage you if needed and keep you focused, alert and alive.

I told you at the restaurant that I love you, and your answer was hesitant, I understand that, I'm not blaming you, but I ask you let me have the chance to show you. It may be, as you said, that I only know a part of you [and I've enjoyed immensely these past few days, discovering more and more of you ;)] and I wish you'd give me the time to get to know the whole of you, to learn what we can become together. For that, Molly my love, you have to come back safe.

Sort it out Molly, your world and everything in it, and come back to me. Let me be in your world.

Stay safe, believe in yourself and trust your instincts like I do,

All my love, (I think that's clear enough already)

C.  
xx

P.s – as this letter has become somewhat heavy (sorry about that, but some things had to be said), I'm attaching here a drawing Sam drew for you. I told him you're going back to the desert, and asked if he'd like to draw you something. Here's his explanation:

Dear Molly, I drawed you riding a lion, leading the troops to safety in the shade. Don't forget to drink lots and lots of water! (there are some water bottles in the drawing as well) Sam


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Lying in her pit in the semi-darkness of Bastion, Molly tries to find good memories to fall asleep with.

It always comes back to Charles, as though the 20 years before their meeting, do not count for anything. Though their time was brief, it was all new for her, exciting and full of promise. She was overwhelmed by his attempts to reveal as much of himself as possible before their next separation, allowing her to get to know the civic, warm, homey Charles, instead of the stern, responsible, protective captain. It's too late to re-read his letter, she doesn't want to disturbed the others by turning on the light. In her head she returns to their first night together, finally alone, in his parents' house.

OG

" _Charles,_ " she whispers into his mouth, " _I'm not gonna break_ ". He looks up at her confused, his hands barely touching her skin. She goes on to reassure him, taking his face in both her hands, and pulling herself closer to his body. After all that time apart, and their conversation at the restaurant, she doesn't know how he's capable of holding back. She anticipated hurried frantic kisses, both of them on edge from need. Instead he was so gentle, taking his time to caress her hair and her lips, it drove her mad.  
" _I'm right here, we've waited long enough, you don't have to hold back, I'm not gonna break_ ".  
" _We have all the time in the world_ " he answers as his head dips down to kiss her neck.  
" _Exactly. You can do gentle later_ " she laughs and shifts to make him lay on his back, straddling him between her thighs, surprise and intrigue beaming from his darkening eyes. As she pulls her striped dress over her head, he pouts laughingly " _I wanted to do that_ ", his voice imitating an unsatisfied child. " _Well, mate, you can do the next one_ " she snickers as she leans down to kiss him, raising his hands to the strap of her bra, her fingers beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt. " _Touch me Charles, kiss me_ " she whispers in his ear, her voice low and lined with need. It's as if her words release something in him, like a signal he's been waiting for, to be sure they're on the same page. He sits up and encircles her in his arms, shifting his weight over her as he sets her back on the bed, his mouth finding hers, desire taking over as his kiss deepens and his tongue explores her mouth, his hands skimming all over her body, unable to stop long enough at one place.

OG

Grunting quietly, Molly shakes the memory away, deciding it to be too alluring for a night in a tent filled with sleeping women. Privacy is hard to come by, and though they all know they all have needs, and all have people and lovers they miss, it goes with out saying that some things aren't done. (Though her time in 2 section's quarters at the FOB taught her that the unwritten laws are quite different between the male squaddies. Oh the noises and smells! Just the thought is such a turn off, any danger she'd been in about her mind wandering evaporates immidiatly.)

She turns her mind to the events of the day.

That Quaseem was there to hear her speak, was not a complete surprize. She'd written him before the tour that she's coming, and knew he'd look up her presentation at the university, but when he came, she was filled with joy at the familiar face. For a moment it felt like the old tour, with 2 section and the Boss, and she felt a small sense of belonging. It was overwheling that a man so far removed from her, could give her such a sence of familiarity, of security. She was grateful for the connection they formed during her first tour, her reminding him of his lost daughter, and him providing a calm, self assured father figure when all seemed so out of hand and extreme. And then there was Bashira. How did that little girl succeed to get under her skin so fast? Even before everything went tits up. She really was like a sister. Like Bella. And Molly worried about her just the same. Maybe that was the dangerous caring the Boss wrote about in his letter.

But Bella had two parents and nan and Molly to make sure she got on her path. And she lived in the quite oblivion of West Ham. Bashira's life and perptual struggle to just bloody live through the day, not to mention go to school, were so far from Bella. And now she had no one. And that was Molly's fault. So when the opportunity came to see her at her new school, there was no question about it. Regardless of the means needed to be taken. Hell, she would go as Sadam Hussain's wife if that would mean she could see Bashira was safe. Wearing a chadri was a no brainer. And it was so light, compared to her normal kit, she'd almost enjoyed it.

She wishes Charles had been there with her, to see Bashira's face as she played in that courtyard, how her eyes lit when she saw and recognized Molly, how her voiced trembled when she thanked Molly for enabling her to go to school (children make it seem so simple sometimes, though they carry the complexity of the truth with them), how her laughter rang out as she beat Molly at their game again and again. She can't wait to tell him about it. She knows he's not gonna like it that she put herself in danger, but he has to understand. He has to know what it means to her, in order to really get to know her. He also has to know their first tour wasn't a complete fuck up. That in one thing they did good. One thing, eventually made sense.

This is what he meant by sorting it out. She gets it in now. Saying goodbye to Bashira was incredibly difficult, the odds of them meeting again next to nothing. But their meeting allows Molly to let go of some of the guilt she carries, and make room for other things, for new things.

With this thought, she finally falls asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

He wakes as the ringing of the phone crashes into the silence of the night. His finger swipes the screen to answer before he can see who it is.

 _"Hello?_ "

No answer comes, but he can hear a breath catching. _"Molly? Is that you?_ ". Silence.  
He decides to wait and see if she comes around to speak. When she doesn't, he tries again. " _Molly, why are you crying? Are you okay?_ " her silence is replaced with sobbing. He hears her breath become distorted, as she begins to hyperventilate.  
" _Molly, put you head down to your knees. You hear me? Breath with me_." He inhales and exhales loudly, checking she's following his actions, until her breath calms down again and silence returns.

" _Are you there, Molls? You okay_?"

" _I love you_ " her croaking whisper comes suddenly, filling the darkness.  
His heart jumps with joy and breaks with fear at the same time. That is not how he'd imagined hearing her say it for the first time.  
" _I love you too."_ Silence. " _What's going on Dawes, your scaring me. It's…_ " he checks the clock by the bed " _3am, why aren't you asleep?_ ". The sound of a horn in the background tears through the silence " _Where are you?_ " now he's anxious.  
" _In the park outside our house. I couldn't sleep, didn't wanna wake Bella so I came out, thought the air would do me good. But it's so dark. You know? It's so dark_." He can hear the exhaustion in her voice, her thoughts speaking for themselves, but at least she was talking.

" _I dreamt I saved him, Charles. I dreamt he woke up in the hospital and was taking the piss at how worried I was. And then I woke up and remembered… It hurts Charles, it hurts so fucking much_." She's sobbing again, and he feels so useless. " _I know Molls. I know. I'm sorry."_ He wants to put his hands around her and keep her safe.  
" _Why was I able to save him twice, only to lose him when we came home, Boss? It's so fucking unfair, it makes me wanna scream_ ". It's his turn to be silent. He doesn't have an answer for that. For all his training and skills and experience, he doesn't have an answer for her broken heart. " _Molls, you trust me?_ " he asks carefully, an idea forming in his head. " _Always_ " she answers without hesitation. " _Good. We're going try something, and then you're going to go home. We can keep talking if you want, the entire night if you wish, but I want you safe at home. Okay?_ " " _Okay. What is it?"_ _"We're going to dance it out Molly"_ he hears her snort, unable to hold herself " _you've gone mental Boss."_ _"No, Molly, trust me. I used to do it in school, when I felt I'd go crazy, and I do it sometimes with Sam, to help take the edge off."_ " _He's 7 Charles._ " She retorts vehemently. " _You trust me Molly? Then try it. You choose the music, put it on loud speaker and jump around. I promise it works_." He hears her laugh, curiosity getting the better of her " _Will you be dancing with me?"_ her voice now teasing " _Of course Dawes, here, I'm out of bed. Come on, choose a song._ "

And she does.

As the tones and beats blare in the darkness, she jumps around, slowly and self-conscious at first, but eventually giving in and letting go. She lets the rhythm take over her body, flinging her hands up and down and yelling with the lyrics. Tears streaming down her face, she bounces more forcefully, her entire body recruited to the mission of oblivion. Until finally her muscles can't take the strain anymore, she crashes back on the bench, only then noticing that the music had already stopped.

 _"_ _You there?_ " she takes the phone back to her ear and he can hear her smiling, " _Yes, I'm right here, Molly. You feel any better?_ " " _That was brilliant Boss. Thank you!_ " " _Good Dawesy. I'm glad. Now home okay?_ " " _Okay_ ". " _You want me to stay on the line with you?_ " " _No, I'm fine_ " she replies, but then keeps on talking. " _You know, I called you a Rupert, that day in Bastian, when we just arrived and you sent me looking for the female quarters. He got so mad! One moment he was all helpful and kind, the next he disappeared, ranting, leaving me in a cloud of dust. The wanker. He adored you so much, he wouldn't allow anyone to do wrong by you_." Her thoughts trailing off, suddenly unsure what her point was, or why she was telling him this.  
This time the uncomfortable silence comes from his side. She kicks herself for being so insensitive to forget it was awkward between them at the end. " _Charles, you there? I'm home. Sorry, it was meant to be a happy thought_."  
" _I'm here. You don't need to apologize. Just keep hanging on to the happy thoughts okay? That's who he was, that's what he'd want us to remember_." " _Yeah. I guess. Man I'm knackered. I'll be asleep before the springs hit the floor._ " He has to laugh at that. " _Good night Dawes_."  
" _Charles_ ," her voice suddenly lined with insecurity " _I meant what I said before. I love you._ "  
" _I'm happy to hear it Molly, ecstatic actually. I love you too. But next time you're going to say it to my face, in my arms. And soon Molly, soon._ " The intonation of the last word going up, it becomes half a question, a plea, a hope.  
" _Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Yes_ ".  
" _Good. Good night Molly_."  
" _Good night_ ".


	6. Chapter 6

6.

She sees him briefly, standing between the flowing bodies of people.  
Even without seeing his face, she recognizes his lean body, his taut posture, the way his hands move from his hips folding against his torso, as he focuses on his mission to find her among the stream of passengers descending the train. A rush of something - happiness, excitement, longing, - washes over her. Unable to contain it she breaks into a run towards him. He realizes the nearing figure is her just in time to open his arms and collect her to him as she lunges at him, her baggage launched at his feet. He holds her up in the air and her hair covers them both as she takes his face in her hands and showers it with kisses " _I love you I love you I love you I love you_ " she whispers between her kisses and they both laugh together before their lips finally meet.  
" _I love you too_ " he finally answers as he breaks away, " _but my leg can't take it anymore_ " he says apologetically as he lets her slide down his body, his hands keeping her glued to him, unwilling to allow any distance to come between them. _"Shit sorry_ " she says, a worried look on her face _"you okay?_ ", he kisses her again in answer, a grin splattered across his lips. This time it's long and slow, a curious expedition to taste all she's been through, or maybe clean it away. Eventually they come up for air.  
 _"I see you're getting better at following orders_ " he smiles at her, and she looks up at him with a question in her eyes, not following. _"That literally was 'to my face, in my arms'"_ he smirks.  
 _"You_ _cheeky bugger_ " is her retort, as a light blush climbs up her neck.

 _"_ _What do you want to do now? We can go straight home, or we can take a drive somewhere. You hungry?" "Not especially"_ She replies pensively.  
 _"What is it Molly?"  
_ _"Well, as much as I'd like to go home and show you just how much I've missed you, I want us to talk first. There are things I need to explain. Let's get a cuppa somewhere and go for a walk. Somewhere where we'll have privacy, and space, and time."_ _"I know just the place"_ he says quietly, trying to cover his insecurity at her words, reminding himself of the nature of their meeting, and the flow of words as she jumped into his arms, _"it's only a short drive away. And it's actually not far from home either. It'll be quick, once we're finished talking._ " He winks at her, trying to lighten the mood.  
" _Charles I'm serious. Or trying to be, if you'd stop being a numpty about it._ " But she can't help but smile at him.  
 _"I know, sorry_ " his eyes are smiling at her as he bites his lower lip. He pulls her into a hug again, _"I've just really missed you,_ " he whispers into her neck _"I'm so happy you're here."_

As they leave the station, an aged man approaches them, an insecure look on his face. _"Excuse me sir, here"_ , he hands Charles a polaroid photograph, the clearing image showing Molly raised up in Charles' arms, as they stood on the platform a few moments before. They both lift their eyes from the picture, questioning.  
" _I come here every Thursday to take pictures of people meeting at the station. I met my wife here on a Thursday 35 years ago, and I've been coming ever since she passed away last year. That was also on a Thursday. I usually take the photographs with me, but you two… I don't know… you two… I'd like you to have it. Keep it. Keep each other, you're the good kind of pairs._ " He fumbles with words, overwhelmed with emotions.  
 _"Thank you,"_ they both mumble in embarrassment, and then Charles goes on, remembering something " _We actually met as our picture was been taken. Isn't that a funny thought?_ " he ponders for a moment, looking at Molly, then back at the picture _"but this is a much better picture. Thank you. This is actually our first picture together outside the army. Thank you sir, sincerely_." He extends his hand towards the man to shake it with gratitude, "I'm sorry for your loss."  
He then puts his arm around Molly, pulling her into him as they walk out the station. _"That was nice of him, wasn't it?"  
"Yeah, I s'ppose, and a bit weird"_ she adds with a wrinkled nose _"taking pictures of strangers."_


	7. Chapter 7

7.

 _"_ _What do you think? Is this enough space?"_ he stops at the top of a small hill, the greens of Victoria park spreading before them as far as the eye can see.

 _"_ _It's beautiful"_ she replies, her smile growing wider as a sense of freedom grows inside her. She feels innocent and free, like a child, so happy she could skip. She decides to follow her gut _"hold this for a moment, I have to do something"_. She hands him her cup of tea and lays herself down on the grass, rolling down the hill with a squeal. When she comes to a halt at the bottom she lies on her back laughing out loud. Raising her hand, she follows the curves of the clouds with her finger _.  
"What you doing?"_ his smiling face comes into view above her _.  
"I used to do this with my granddad when I was small; Before all the bleeders came and we stopped visiting. One more time and then I'll act my age again, promise."  
Please don't, you're lovely. May I join you?"_ she beams up at him, not believing her luck at finding someone that so open heartedly goes along with her moods and follies.  
" _I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you. Come on, I'll show how we do it in two's."_ She skips and runs back up the hill, jumping up and down, yelling his _way "come on James, put some bloody effort into it!"_.  
Laying near him, their heads in the direction of one another she holds her hands to him. _"Give me your hands, and try not to let go while we go down. Ready?"_ at the count of three they start rolling, soon to be tumbling on top of each other in a laughing heap _. "Ow!"_ comes a chuckled cry as they finally stop, Molly sprawled on top of him. _"Now try and catch the clouds"_ she challenges him _. "Can't, they're running away"_ he answers as he lifts his hand and eyes to the sky, enjoying the dizzy feeling. Her eyes stay on him, studying his face, admiring how young he suddenly looks, and carefree.  
 _"What you looking at?"_ he catches her staring, his hands come down to the small of her back, shifting her to release some pressure off his chest _.  
"Am I hurting you, should I move?"_ she asks, suddenly afraid it has something to do with his injury  
 _"No. You should never ever move, I'd be happy if we stayed like this forever"_ he looks straight into her eyes. A chuckle escapes her _lips "you getting soft on me Boss?"  
"No Molly, just genuinely happy."_  
 _"Come on you numpty. Where have you left our drinks? I'm proper parched after all that excitement"_ she helps him up and raps her arms around his waist as they climb back up to where their cups were left waiting.

 _"_ _You think it's weird all this green reminds me of the mountain pass?"_ she asks after a while, as they're sitting on the grass, sipping their drinks, her forehead crumpled with worry. He looks at her shortly, trying to decipher her changed mood, _"No,"_ he answers carefully, _"I think it's overwhelming that you've been exposed to those circumstances at your age, but not weird that you took it in and allowed it to touch you."_ He waits for her reaction, curious as to where she'll lead the conversation.  
 _"I have to tell you something"_ she takes a short break, her eyes glued down at her cup, fingers picking at the lid. After a few long seconds she lifts her eyes directly to the horizon, steeling herself. _"I went to see Bashira when I was in Kabul. I forced Quaseem to take me to her."_ She can feel his eyes on her, but when she looks up she's surprised to find curiosity rather than anger. He waits for her to continue.  
 _"I'm not looking for your approval, but I would like you to understand. I need you to understand."_  
He takes her hand in his, lifting it to his lips, kissing it gently. _"Go on"._ There's no point getting angry about it now, she's back safe with him, and he has a feeling this moment is bigger than a mere telling of a story. She's revealing something of herself to him, confiding in him who she is at her core. And as she speaks, revealing what Bashira had meant to her, and how important it was for her to see her again, to close the chapter, somehow, by the tone of her voice, by her choice to tell him this, he realizes that she's changed, matured perhaps, has come to terms with some things that gnawed at her before _.  
"I wish you'd have been there with me Charles, to see it, to see her. Because, it meant something. We made a change. As small as it is, we sent at least one girl to school. We saved her life. You and I did that."_ She looks at him, her eyes filled with hope and fear, it's unnerving. He can't stand it. He leans to kiss her, hoping she'll understand, a tear rolling down his cheek. _"Wait,"_ she breaks from his kiss _"wait. I want you to hear this."_  
He keeps his head by hers, his forehead gently leaning into her temple, his eyes closed _.  
"I understand now what you meant in your letter. I'm ready now. I wasn't before. You were right, I needed to sort things out, I needed to find myself, and stop relying on you as my boss. Stop being a soldier serving under you, to be able to be with you, by you. I'm ready Charles. 100% by your side, at each other's side, yeah?"_  
This time she doesn't pull away when he kisses her. As he pulls her into his lap, she wipes the tears from his cheeks, kissing them away. _"You are getting soft"_ she said, but it's love voicing itself through her words, surprise at how openly he lets her see her effect on him.  
"I love you" he says at last, his words but a low whisper in her ear "thank you for telling me. Thank you for coming back." he seals it with a trail of soft kisses.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

 _"_ _I also need to tell you something".  
_ They've been sitting a short while in silence, her back to his torso, their hands entwined on her folded knees, watching as the sun begins its daily descend. He feels her tense into concentration, but she doesn't interrupt him _.  
"Major Beck won't accept my resignation. Unless I file for a medical release."_ He takes a deep breath and goes on. _"He says he's read and re-read the report, as wells as talked to a few of the men in the section. He says he can't find any fault in my actions. He sees Smurf's death as some kind of proof, that his condition wasn't up to me, and that he was the trigger to what happened on the bridge."_  
She catches his fingers in hers as he tries to shift. The pressure of her fingers the only indication to the effect his words has on her _.  
"I'm sorry Molly. I didn't know what to do, what to tell him. I didn't want to expose your involvement, so not to harm you."_ The next part is the most difficult one _"I didn't want to expose us, I want us to have a chance. I didn't mean it to be the easy way out. I was a coward, but I couldn't give you up. It was selfish, but I kept quiet. I'm sorry."_  
At first she doesn't move, doesn't say anything. Then she slowly lifts her weight from him, leaning forward on her knees. _"Molly?"_

 _"_ _He asked me to his office, for a questioning about what happened that day."_ Her voice low and her face turned from him, he can barely hear her. _"He asked me not to tell you. Ordered it even. You did the right thing. What happened on that bridge wasn't your fault any more than it was mine or Smurf's. We'll carry it with us forever, that's punishment enough."_  
She slowly turns to him, unsure if she's ready to see his face, his reaction. _"You hear me? It wasn't your fault."_  
 _"When?"_ his face is strained, pale, his eyes searching hers. He looks so vulnerable she wants to hug him.  
 _"When what?"  
"When were you at his office?"  
"Before this last tour. The day you went for your check-up at Headley Court."_  
His eyes darken, and she can feel him trying to control his temper. _"And you didn't tell me."_ it's not a question.  
 _"I couldn't, it was an order. And, I wanted to see what he'd do with it, Beck, if he'd approach you."  
_ He stays quiet for a while. Then he stands up and walks a few steps away from her, his face to the darkening horizon. She knows better than to go after him, she lets him find his way back.  
 _"What did you tell him?"_ he asks his question from afar, his body only half turned to her, his arms folded at his chest.  
She stands up to face him _"Nothing that I haven't already said in Afghan. That you are an excellent captain. That you did your best to bring us home in one piece, physically and mentally, and that Smurf shot that goat out of agitation over losing his brother."_ His eyes widened, they both know that's the short end of the stick.  
 _"Why?"_ he forces himself to control his voice. She takes a few cautious steps toward him,  
 _"Because that's how I see it. And because I also want us to have a chance. But not only in the way you mean now."_ She reaches him, prying his folded arms and taking his hands in her palms. _"Charles, us having a chance isn't Beck's decision, it's ours. Mine, and yours. I've made my choice. You have to make yours. But, you'll have to give up the guilt. You couldn't save him."_  
" _I put you at risk"_ his voice is strained with anger at himself _"because I couldn't wait out, because Smurf saw us in that compound, Badrai had the opportunity to shoot at you."_ His eyes focused on her hands, he can't bring himself to look at her.  
 _"And at you Charles. If I'm not mistakin' it's you that's got two scars to prove it."_ she smiles at him lightly _"Listen to me. We were there together, we are in this together. Now. We both know the ins and outs of what happened that day, but it doesn't have to be the end of you career. Not if you don't want it to be. I understand if you want to go back and continue your work. It's part of who you are."_ His eyes dart into hers. How is it she can read him so well? Know what's eating at him, where his guilt really lies, without him addressing it at all.  
 _"Beck says he wants me on the mission to Kenya in about a year's time, if my rehabilitation goes as planned and I'm approved medically."_ His voice is almost apologetic, but she can hear the underlying hope.  
 _"Is that what you want?"  
"I don't know. I didn't dare think about it until now. You're what's important now."  
"I'm right here."  
"It would mean you'd have to officially leave 2 section. Be permanently transferred."_ He finally voices what he knows will hurt the most.  
Molly thinks for a moment. She'd be sorry to leave her fellow soldiers that had become her family. But it would mean she'd have Charles, at his fullest - happy, content, self-assured. There's no question. _"Those boys will always be my family. But I came to 2 section as a replacement medic, it makes sense I'd have to leave. And you'll take care of them, won't you, make sure they're not becoming complete Fuckmuppets"_ there's some light at the end of this tunnel, she allows herself some much needed humor.  
" _I promise"_ he giggles _"cross my heart and hope to"  
"No Charles, don't say it. I hate that saying. Hope to live Charles. Live. With me."_ she tugs lightly at the lapel of his jacket _  
"Yes Molly, with you."_  
His hands encircle her and he pulls her into him, kissing her. He feels so light all of a sudden, a huge weight lifted from him. He feels they just might do okay.  
 _"Thank you Molly. You're incredible. I don't know what I did to deserve you. Or what I'd do without you"  
"Well, I think it's time we go home and you show me"_ her smile teases him.  
 _"Hey! I thought you were the one who's going to show me!"_ his smile now breaks into a full blown laugh, taking over his entire body.  
"Guess we'll have to show each other Charles. Come on."

 _Fin. / The outset..._

 ****

 **A/N  
** _The next chapter will appear under the M rated section, for those of you interested. It does not really add to the development of the storyline.  
Though this was meant to be the last chapter of this story, an idea came to my mind regarding season 2, so there will be at least one more chapter following.  
Thank you all for your kind remarks and comments, they are very much appreciated. _

_Picpicpic_


	9. Chapter 9

9.

 _"Molly"_ he gasps, breathless, _"Charles?"_ she returns his name, short and composed, smiling to herself, enjoying the sway she had over his body, as she runs her fingers up and down the bottom side of his erection.

 _"Tell me how it feels"_ she whispers, adding a light flow of air along his penis.  
 _"What?"_ he can't focus.  
 _"Tell. Me. How. It. feels."  
_ " _Good_ " he exhales the word loudly.  
" _How?_ " she continues pushing.  
" _Your tantalizing me_ " his voice now small, barely reaching the end of the word, he arches his back to her as his hands try to reach for her head and shoulders.  
" _I don't know what that means_ " she says mischievously, moving away from his reach, but not from his penis, she delicately raps her lips to kisses along his erection, applying suction.  
" _It hurts_ "  
"Where?"  
" _Everywhere!_ " he lets out a light laugh, fighting against the need to let go.  
 _"Should I stop then?_ " she inquires, as she takes her lips away, but circles her fingers around the base of his penis and applies small pressure.  
" _No! don't you dare_ " comes his frantic answer, before she even finished her question, making her laugh this time. " _It hurts with pleasure. It's, like, my insides want to expand, while my skin is tightening_ " he lets out, his eyes closed as he concentrates, digging for words to prevent her from stopping. He can barely breath, thinking and forming sentences seeming like an impossible task.  
" _Oooh, poetic_ " she snickers, circling her tongue around the tip of his penis, while keeping her fingers at its base, semi-cupping his testicles.  
" _Molly_ ," he breaths her name again " _I'm…_ ",  
" _Let go Charles, cum for me_ " she smiles at him lovingly, indulging in her ability to pleasure him as she continues stroking him.  
 _"With you_ " he whimpers quickly on the edge of his breath, his eyes flicking open searching for hers as his hand flings forward to find her body _"I want to come with you. Come here_ ".  
She can hardly say no to that, she climbs up his torso, lunging at his lips for a kiss, her hand still on him, his hand immediately searching its way between her legs to find she's ready for him. " _Now?_ " he asks gently, looking into her eyes. _"Do it slowly_ " she answers, wanting to stretch this experience as much as possible. " _I don't know if I can, I don't know how much longer I can wait out_ " he replies with a strained voice, a smile fluttering on his lips as he realizes the pun.  
 _"Oh, no, no need to wait out_ " she retorts playfully, her voice then taking a more serious tone, _"here, let me_ " she whispers into his ear, as she moves his hand away, directing his penis towards her. _"Try not to do a lot_ " she says, her eyes fixed on his, as she touches his penis to her clitoris, beginning light circular movement that make her shiver against him. _"Christ, Molly_ " is his reaction, as he exhales and presses his mouth to hers, his hands wrapping around her waist and back. _"Now Molly, now_ " _"Yes, Charles, now_ ", she says, as she lets him slip into her, her hands moving to his buttocks to apply pressure and fit him all the way in.  
She can't get enough of this feeling, him inside her, filling her, while holding her tight. _"Stay there_ " she lets out, _"for just a moment. Please. Don't move_ " her eyes now closed, her head strung back.

 _"Tell me how it feels_ " he cheekily challenges as he sets kiss up and down her neck, biting lightly. _"Gooood"_ she laughs out " _so good_." " _Tell me_ ", he says, as he tries to pull back out, " _No!_ " she clings to him desperately, holding him in place, slowly initiating movement with her hips. _"It feels… safe._ " She says, looking straight into his eyes, adding words on every thrust, " _Full." "Complete." "Whole._ " His thumb finds her clitoris as she begins to pant, a smile spreading on her lips in appreciation. She feels the inner tug as her muscles tightened around him, hearing him panting against her shoulder, her breath catches, " _It feels like home_ " is the last thing that comes out as she peaks and lets go, shuddering into the waves of pleasure that come over her, clinging to him for support.

Hearing those words, Charles eyes dart open to find her squirming under him, his mind reeling at her words, he feels a tug at his heart, as the rumble at the bottom of his gut releases into her.

They stay like that for a while, connected, breathing into each other, his eyes boring into hers, searching for something. As his breathing calms back down, he closes his eyes and lays his lips fluttering against hers, kissing her tentatively, in an attempt to convey to her what he can't put in words, wonderstruck at her ability to evoke emotions in him, even at their most beast-like, raw, moments of lust.

 _"You okay?_ " she asks quietly, as he continues to gaze into her eyes _"you're making me self-conscious_ "  
 _"Yes, yes, sorry_ " he awakes from his contemplation, and gently pulls out of her.

 _"Tell me_ " she requests, holding his face between her hands.

 _"You're quite the talker today Dawes_ " he says with a laugh, putting his forehead to hers.  
 _"Well, my gob always did get me into trouble,_ " she giggles, " _but really, tell me. Please_ ," she adds as she bobs his head gently from side to side between her hands " _where did you go just then?_ "  
" _Nowhere, I was 100% here. I just… you, I was just realizing how deep inside me you reach by just being you, with me. I just, you just, you never seize to amaze me._ " Looking at her, he sees her cheeks blush, _"And that_ ," he nods his head and she knows exactly what he means, _"was fucking awesome. It never, ever, felt like that before_." At that she bursts out in laughter, happiness spreading over her. " _Hey!_ " he says as he covers her laughing mouth with a kiss, his fingers finding their way to tickle at her waist, " _you smirking?_!"  
" _No! No!"_ she squeals with laughter curling away in defense _, "well, maybe just a bit"_ she adds as the fleeting of his fingers stops and he pulls her into his arms. _"A little is okay then, with the skills you've just exhibited, I suppose you're allowed_."


	10. Chapter 10

10.

(S2 | About 15 Months after chapter 8)

She spots him between the soldiers before he makes her out in the welcoming party. She's never seen him so tired, so beat, though she notices he's doing his best to cover it, act out the captain's part to its fullest.  
 _"Molly girl!"_ Mansfield's voice rings through the crowded terminal of Brize Norton, pulling her from her thoughts. She catches Charles eyes darting forward to find her, a look of surprise in his eyes, his eyebrows shooting up when he finally sets eyes on her, a smile spreading across his lips, and she thinks she can see some color rise in his cheeks. Then Mansfield's head blocks her view as he kisses her on the cheek. _"What you doin' here then girl? Missed us?"_ he asks absent mindedly, quickly realizing he knows the answer _"Ah right, silly me, sorry 'bout that. Good to see you then. How you been doin'?"_  
 _"Mansfield,"_ Charles' voice cuts the confused soldiers blabber as he reaches Molly, _"Shut the fuck up"._  
 _"Yes sir, sorry sir"_ Mansfield mutters, becoming redder by the moment, Molly can't help but giggle.  
 _"Molly"_ Charles breaths her name as he scoops her into a hug. It's briefer than they'd both wish it to be, but he is still on duty in front of his soldiers. _"What are you doing here, how did you get here?"  
"Good to see you too Boss," _but there is a smile on her face and relief in her eyes _"Kinders' wife offered me a ride, thought maybe you'd like the surprise. And the company driving home."  
"I do. I do. I mostly definitely do."_ He chuckles.

Half an hour and many hugs and goodbyes later, they finally stand together at the boot of his car, having dumped his gear in the car.  
 _"Hi"_ he says bashfully, looking at her, taking her in. _"Hi"_ she answers, happy, as she leans in for a hug. They stand in each other's arms for a moment, holding each other close, his head buried in the crook of her neck. " _The first time I held you was in this parking lot. You remember that?"_ He asks, _"Always"_ her answer is but a whisper, but she feels a shudder go through his body as he holds her tighter, breathing her in. " _I've missed you."_

A car passing by wakes them from their bubble, reminding them they're still in a public place. Disappointed, they let go, each climbing into their seat in the car. Charles turns the car on, and the heating, but then stops everything and just sits there. _"Charles?"_ she says carefully, a look of worry in her eyes, as she can't read him. She knew it won't be easy, but she wasn't entirely sure what to expect. _"Come sit with me in the back for a moment"_ he says looking directly at her.  
 _"You what?"_ her surprise at the odd request leaving her at a loss for words. But Charles is already getting out the car and sliding into the back seat _"Please Molls, come here"._ There's something in his voice that prevents her from refusing or arguing with him. She exits the car and climbs into the back seat next to him, but before she can sit properly, he pulls her into his lap, tugging at her pullover. _"Do you have anything under this, take it off"_ it's as if he's offended by the thick layer between them.  
 _"Charles, what's going on, you're scaring me. I'm wearing a tank top under this, but people can still see us."  
"I don't care Molly, I don't care. I just need to hold you, please."_ He lifts her top up over her head and she doesn't resist. _"Please let me hold you Molly."_ His hands already encircling her, pulling her closer to him, leaving no space between them. She's never seen him like this, frantic, not even when he was shot, not during his recovery. She can feel how scared he is, his eyes shut tight and his head buried again in her neck. It's as though he's trying to shield himself from something, make himself as small as possible against her body, derive strength from it or air. They don't speak for a while, and she lets him lose himself in her, regain himself, as she soothingly caresses his head and nape, her fingers curling into his hair. She knows she's seeing but a glimpse of what this last tour in Kenya had cost him. Communications being bad, and the information delicate, she'd got only the rough details as their mission deteriorated when Georgie was taken, but she knows it was a hard blow, and it took everything he had not to lose more control than he'd already lost.

Eventually he loosens his grip, still holding her close, tracing her neck and face with butterfly kisses _"I love you. I don't have the words to tell you Molly, I wish I had, I love you. I've missed you, I'm so happy you're here."  
"Me too Charles, me too. I'm right here"_ she gently grazes her lips against his, coaxing him into a kiss. It slow and delicate, light, as though he doesn't have the strength for anything more. Eventually he pulls back, leaning his head back on the seat and pulling her to his chest. She can hear his heart beat.  
 _"The next few weeks are going to be shit difficult Molly."_ He takes a moment to breath _"not only are we fragged, as you say, there's going to be a hell of an investigation as to how it happened. And I also have the weirdest feeling, it's not over. But I want you to know, Molly, whatever happens, it's not about you, and I love you."_  
Molly lifts her head to look at him _"Charles what-"_  
 _"No, Molly, listen, I want you to hear this, I need to say it. Because I may act weird these coming weeks, I may need time or space, I may push you away, and I want you to know I don't mean to. You know how it is to come back, to not fit in the normal, and I'll try to let you in, I don't want to go through this alone, I want to be able to go through this with you, but I might forget, or get lost, or, and I want you to know I don't mean any of it if I go dark. I want you to know I want you, I need you, you're the most important person in my life and you've saved me in more ways and more times than you know, even on this god-awful tour and I can't bear to lose you. So please forgive me if I'm being a dick, or a prick, or a pranny, and please please please don't leave me. I promise it will pass, I'll get through it, and I need you for that."_ He was panting now, almost out of breath, and she could feel him shivering under her.  
 _"Charles, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, calm down, I'm right here."  
_ She didn't think it was possible for her to love him any more than she already did, but his exposed vulnerability maks her fall in love with him all over again. No one has ever needed her like this. Her heart goes out to him, she wants to protect him, to make him feel safe, to make him feel assured in their connection. To let him know she could never let him go.

For a while she goes on whispering the soothing words, until she notices he's dosed off, the physical and emotional exertion taking its toll. She lets him sleep it off, listening to his breaths and heartbeats, wondering what the next few weeks have in store and how they're gonna get through them.

Eventually he wakes up, seeing the sky darkening around the car. _"Shit, sorry,"_ he says rubbing his eyes _"didn't mean to fall asleep. Why didn't you wake me?"  
"Nothing to apologize for, looked like you needed it, you feeling better? Think you can make the drive now?"  
"Yeah, we'll stop for coffee before we hit the motorway, and I'll be fine. You?"_ He takes her hand in his, bringing it to his lips, kissing it gently,  
" _Yeah, you know me, a cuppa will do me"_.  
He squeezes her hand one last time and then opens the car door and steps out, stretching his limbs and breathing deeply. He watches her as she nimbly climbs over the gear box, grinning as she sets herself in the front seat. She fiddles with the radio, looking for music they'd both agree on _. "You wanna dance it out?"_ she says loudly, finding his eyes through the window, a half mock in her voice.  
 _"No, I think talking it out did the trick this time, thank you very much."  
"Snoozing it out you mean"_, she retorts with a chuckle, as he climbs into the driver's seat, his lower lip caught between his teeth, as he smiles at her.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

 _"_ _Molly!" "Molly!" "Molly!"_

She wakes up suddenly, the sound of her name screamed franticly at the top of his voice tearing through the darkness.  
As she turns to Charles, she realizes he's still asleep, his hands flapping in front of him as if he's trying to reach something in his sleep _. "Charles, wake up"_ she whispers lightly, hoping not to scare him awake. But it doesn't help, his shouting now turns to low whimpering and howling. _"Charles! wake up"_ she barks as a last resort, the sound of fear from his throat sending a cold chill down her spine.  
His eyes fling open, he's covered in sweat and it takes him a moment to realize where he is, who she is, what's going on. But instead of calmness, panic sets in, sending his body shaking, tears come streaming down his cheeks, he gasps for air as he keeps on repeating her name.  
 _"Charles, calm down"_ , realizing what's happening, Molly pulls him up to a sitting position and slides to sit behind him. Her legs at both his sides, her arms encircling his torso. He's not sure what's happening, and he tries to resist and shake her off _"I_ _'m applying pressure,"_ she explains as she holds him firmly, talking in his ear as he wriggles in her arms, fighting for air _"to relax your nervous system, decrease your metabolic rate. You'll feel more panicked at first."_ It's exactly like she's describing it, and for a moment he's not sure what comes first – the feeling or her words, _"you'll try to resist it, but eventually you'll feel your pulse rate slow."_ Her voice is calm, and soothing and somewhere in the back of his mind, his body begins to understand he's no longer in danger. _"your pulse rate will slow,"_ she goes on, as he stops fighting and fidgeting, _"Your breath will come easier,"_ And he notices that it does, the pressure he felt in his chest easing away _"your breath will come easier."_ He lies limp and tired in her arms _"OK, breathe Charles, just breathe, it's over. You're ok."_

They sit there for a while, not speaking, his hands on her arm on his chest, as she brushes his hair back with the other and kisses his temple.  
 _"How did you do that?"_ his question is slow and amazed, she saved his life again.  
 _"I'm a medic, Charles, panic attacks are part of our basic training, they are quite common between soldiers you know."_ After a few seconds, she _asks "you want to tell me what happened?"  
"Not really"_ he answers naively, hoping to avoid addressing the subject.  
 _"Charles,"_ her voice is strict and he knows he has no choice, he must face the wind.  
 _"I dreamt it was you. They took you instead of Georgie. One moment you were in the ambulance in front of me, the next you were gone. Disappeared in to thin air. And I was left calling for you, feeling so helpless."  
"What do think it means Charles?"  
"I think it's quite obvious, isn't it?"  
"But I'm right here, you know I'm right here, don't you? I haven't left, I'm not going anywhere, so why does your mind trick you into thinking you're going to lose me? What's this really about Charles?"_ She has a feeling there's more to it than he's letting on. It's been more than a few weeks since he's been back from Kenya, the investigation over, and this current set of nightmares is new. She's just thankful Sam isn't with them tonight, to hear his father screaming and howling in his sleep.  
When he doesn't answer, she tries another way _, "If you don't want to tell me that's fine, but at least speak about it with your counsellor. It's been getting worse."  
"I have."_ he confesses _.  
"And?"  
"And... he thinks it has something to do with you and me."  
"What do you mean?"  
"With you not wanting to marry me."  
"What?!" _that's a blow under the belt. _"That was months ago. How did that even come up? Have you been carrying it around all this time?"_  
He sits up and turns to sit across from her, his arms together around his knees, providing semi-protection _"Not directly, I didn't mean to, but with everything that's been going on, he reckons it has something to do with that. That I hold it as a pointer, that you're not fully committed, that you might leave."  
"Shit Charles. That's shit. Do you really feel that?"_ She can't believe what she's hearing, she thought they cleared the air as to why she declined his proposal a few months earlier, but suddenly, it sheds some light on a lot of his words lately, stuff he'd said in the heat of the moment, unintentionally.  
When he doesn't answer she takes charge of the moment. _"Look at me Charles,"_ she takes his hands in hers, entwining their fingers, like that day in the FOB, the first time he touched her. She seeks his gaze and starts slow, trying to find the words, wanting to solve this once and for all, to put it behind them, to let him know where they stand and how she feels. _"the reason I said no back then, was not because I don't love you, or because I don't want to be with you, or because this is a temporary thing for me. It's not. At least I hope it's not. I love you, I thought you knew that. I've never felt towards anyone, what I feel for you. I keep falling more and more in love with you, every day, and every night. I promise, I'm not intending on leaving." She looks at him briefly."There were two reasons why I said no back then, maybe three. One, and that's the least important one, is that I felt I was too young. Too young for this massive idea of marriage. It sounded so big in my head. The second, - please let me finish,"_ She stops him before he can cut her, set on explaining herself, of showing him where he got it wrong, why he doesn't have a reason to fear her leaving.  
" _The second, is that I didn't want us to turn into my parents. I know now that we won't"_ she answers his remark before he can make it _"but that's the picture I have in my head of marriage, and I didn't want that. I was happy with what we have, for me it is for forever, so I didn't need to change it into a titled… thing. And the third, and this the most important, I think, I didn't want us to do it out of fear that we'd lose each other on a tour, or that something would happen. I was going away on tour, and I had a feeling we'd jinx it if we got married because of that. It doesn't sound right now, but what I mean is, that I didn't want fear to be the thing that made us get married. I still don't._ _That being said, - wait, wait, just let me finish, please"_ she sees he can't keep quiet much longer, but she has to get it out, _"that being said, I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and though I still don't want us to do it out of fear, and after tonight it makes even less sense, I have been thinking, that, if you still want to, we could, I mean, we should, I mean, I would like to, marry you, that is, if you'll have me."_ She stops to breathe, scared to see his reaction. It had been much more difficult than she'd thought, and she isn't sure it came out right at all. But he just sits there blinking at her.  
 _"Charles? did you hear what I said?"_ he nods, a huge grin spreading on his face, his teeth catching his lower lip _"then?"_ she feels like she has to shake him, _"Will you marry me Charles?"_ the irony of it and how cliché it sounds strikes her as she says the words, but she suddenly feels insecure about his reactions.  
He keeps on nodding, tears glistening in his eyes.  
 _"Can you say something please? I'm brickin' it here"_ she tries to laugh but she's still not sure what he's thinking.  
 _"I would marry you tomorrow if you let me Molly. Right now if I could."  
"Well tomorrow is a little soon"_ she answers with relief and just a bit of sarcasm, then she adds, _"how 'bout Thursday, so my family will have a chance to get here?"_ her voice now completely steady.  
" _Are you serious? We can't arrange a wedding in 6 days. You need a dress, and a chapel and rings and an Idon'tknowwhat else"_ he says confused.  
 _"I don't need anything but you Charles_ _"_ , she comes closer to sit between his legs. _"I don't want a big thing, or lots of people. Your parents, my parents and Nan, in front of a judge or a_ _magistrate or a whatever it's called, that's all I need, if that's alright by you. I don't care about the rest."  
"Really Molls? You sure? Thursday? We're getting married on Thursday?" he can hardly speak, exitment rising inside him.  
"Yeah, if you want. Like that man in the train station, everything happened on a Thursday for him. It can't be a bad day."  
'Never Molly. The day I get to marry you will be perfect. You've made me the happiest man alive."  
"So no more bad dreams then, Charles?"  
"No Molly, hopefully not, though I don't think I'll be able to sleep now, I'm so happy."  
"Well mate, I can think of one or two other things we can do in the time being..." she grins knowingly, and he leans in to kiss her, "but, before that, you want to say anything about what I said before, you did try and cut in like six times…"  
"I can't remember any of it, I swear_. _"_ He sets kisses along her neck, speaking into her skin _"everything before 'will you marry me' is a blur"  
"Oi! Cheeky! You want me to say it all again?' she chuckles,  
"No Molly, I want you to shut up and kiss me"  
"Mmm," _she giggles into his mouth as his lips find hers, _"lovely".  
_

**A/N  
** _Just to let you know, the next (very short) chapter will be the last in this storyline. Thank you all for your comments and support throughout this experiment.  
_ _Picpicpic xx_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N - Here it is, the last chapter. Thank you all for your kind words and support. xx Picpicpic_

* * *

 _12._

 _"_ _Molly and Charles have chosen to write their own vows, and will now read them.  
Molly, you first."_

 _"_ _Charles,  
you're my best friend in that you listen and help me find my way, push me forward and up at my own pace.  
You are my lover in the way I love you, in the way you make me feel, in the way you bring me to new heights and share my secrets.  
You are my kindred spirit in the way we think alike, the way you make me laugh, the way your eyes twinkle at me with warmth and desire.  
You already are my family, in the way you care for me and protect me, the way you are my place in world.  
And so today, as we ground are partnership, I vow, to cherish you in all these ways, to be here for you, with you, 100% by your side, to let you in and hold you tight, to love you and honor you, and, like you told me once, to adore you for always."_

 _"_ _Molly my love,  
I told you once you made me engage my brain, but since that day you've also engaged my heart. You taught me, Molly, how to live again, and how to love, how to look at the world anew, with openness and curiosity. You amaze me every day, with the simplest gesture or thought. I hope to never stop learning from you.  
You let me love you Molly, and thereby reveal to me who I am and who I can be. You make me better.  
I'm honored and grateful today and so so happy to entwine my life with yours.  
You are my place in the world, a home that allows me to grow and fly and keeps me grounded and safe.  
After all this time, all I want still, is to make you happy, and I vow to do my best to keep you safe and content, to allow you to grow and create your way, to be here for you, with you, 100% by your side. Cross my heart and hope to live with you, forever."_


End file.
